Tuesday, January 1, 2013

January 1, 2013

Dear Blog,

     I am right here writing to you right now is because I have a lot of things going on in my mind. The strong hiss of lightsabers have disappeared. I hear quiet roads and mourning hearts desperate for release and freedom. I have not yet eaten my food actually but I am here because I do not want to loose all of these thoughts in my head.

I cannot believe that on this day, January 1, 2013 will be a nightmare for me. For the past two days, I dwell in the midst of misfortunes to which sends me here, at this point, with running tears down my face and cuddling to myself begging for someone to hug me and cuddle me into the cold, quiet night. I feel myself drown in despair. I cannot believe I can awfully feel such things. I know I have to be happy. I tried all things that would make me happy but the more the did, the more I become desperate. This room I am currently in is filled with coldness and only little light is shining upon it. There's no way a person would live here.

This house I live in was once a happy home. A construction with four walls and one roof was once called a "home". Yes, you read it right, once a home to me and all of the people who lived here. The people here grew up. Fed up with every problem they encounter and forgets the reason why we live under one roof. I was young by then and was not aware of what life has to offer. al I knew back then was I was happy, and people that surrounds me are happy too. When I grew up, I was wrong... They have persuaded me into their own little dramas. I was blinded by the kindness shown to me. I was deep sorrow but luckily, I susrvive and moved on. As time goes by, I still watch fairytale movies and read happy ending stories but I didn't have one of those stories. Not all stories have happy endings after all. In everything, I'd been through, I learned through decisions made and not from the people that come, eat, sleep, benefit things then go. No, I learn because I observe my surroundings. I listen to gossips and stories. I foretold rumors to myself and learned they were once true. It was like listening to mistakes that were made by human and they never learn from them.

Now, I have nothing more to offer but myself and the education I started. I have several people whom I can trust but not fully and yes there's one person to whom I entrust myself with. I know that these people will always be here for me. I may not ask them to help me in pains and wounds but I know they always have my back. I have idea's. Idea's on how to start happy endings. Struggles are lessons for me. Sometimes, I do break down and cry but I get back up and fight again. I do not know what lies ahead but I know I will be good and be great. I know the people who threw me to failure will swim back to seas of rewind and flashbacks. And me, I will keep all of these in my heart. That is all I will do. I will fight for what is right, give honor to the kings and lead myself towards happy endings and success.
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